I am still learning the virtue of joy. And I confess, it is not a virtue that forms easily in me.
In the virtue science research world, Pamela King and Fredric Defoy have studied joy and concluded that joy is “a virtue, a psychological habit, comprised of characteristic adaptations and given meaning by transcendent narrative identity. Thus joy involves knowing, feeling, and enacting what matters most.”(1)
I used to think joy was something that would happen to me. That I would finally be joyful when the perfect and right circumstance happened, the right relationships showed up in life, or when I was finally able to get that perfect new shiny thing. Today I understand that the formation of joy requires intentional practice…it is a developable habit and formable human characteristic.
How do I practice joy? For me, the practice of joy requires that I awake each day and choose gratitude over anxiousness. And perhaps the mere recognition of my agency and ability to choose is the first evidence that I am practicing joy. For, not all that long ago, it was a surprise to me to learn that anxiousness is an internal reaction rather than an imposed reality. Yes, the inner suffering of anxiousness can be resisted, and the first step is granting yourself the freedom to choose gratitude over anxiousness.
I remember when I was too distracted to recognize there was a choice. I assumed “busy” and “important” and “productive” were the normative and required ways of life. The anxiousness of needing to be busy consumed me. “I was busy to feel important and since I was important, I must be busy” was the unspoken script. This kind of busyness demands an allegiance to anxiousness. And anxiousness becomes the fuel that allows us to survive the busyness! What an exhausting race to death.
Joy begins with a choice: a determination about what matters most. And a pattern of knowing what matters most and acting upon it…that is what develops into a virtue of joy.
So, today…let’s be joyful. Because we can.
Shane Ash 