Today I am tasked with loading our household belongings into our 12ft box trailer. We are moving from our four bedroom house into…well, we don’t know yet. But temporarily we will be in storage and borrowed bedrooms. We launched into this journey with a hope to embrace a life of “simplicity.” But I admit, it is more difficult than we imagined.
It’s hard in ways we didn’t expect. Every item is a debate. The conversations are confusing, the decisions are difficult. What defines “need to keep?” Who determines the value of each item? What is not important to one is soooo important to another.
I would guess that we have already given away half of our former belongings. We have made significant decisions in our simplifying. And there are still several piles to deliver to the local thrift store. But we still have a lot of stuff. More than we can fit in our 12 foot trailer goal.
If I can risk some vulnerability…this process has challenged the strength of our marriage. Ashley and I are struggling to define simple. Struggling to let go of the need to keep. Perhaps it is sentiment, perhaps it is fear. But certainly it is the result of a formed imagination by american empire. We are pre-wired with an impulse to consume…and to define the quality of our life by our consumption. It’s difficult to unwind that narrative. But we must. For the very anxieties we are seeking freedom from…are now weighting down our journey.
Today I am reminded again of the words offered to me from WB…”I think God’s promise is that we will live together in peace, dignity and abundance. But abundance of a gospel kind need not be a lot, only enough to evoke your daily gratitude.”
Today we will load only enough.