It’s been almost five months since we un-expectantly resigned our pastoral role. In some ways, it was both unexpected by me and by many of those I pastored.
The surprise element was rooted in the catalysts prompting the suddenness of the process. Ironically, the financial disintegration within our church community led to our sudden leap into an integrated life and provisional trust. But regardless of the timing and the catalyst of our church member-giving crisis, as I look back upon it now, the trajectory of the decision was the same.
The truth is, I didn’t want to call it a resignation. I suggested the word retirement. Retirement is a better picture of what our family is seeking to walk toward. To retire from a scattered and separated way of life; from the position of lead pastor; from the disintegration of faith, work, and play.
I hoped to be able to share our family’s trust-journey with others. To gain courage from one another as we risked walking a path of resistance. To sustain one another as we abandoned the fear of failure. And today, although not in the way I anticipated, I know my family is not walking alone.
It has been an interesting five months: learning how to trust, confronting some untruths, healing deep hurts, and beginning to plan for what is ahead. As we walked into this new freedom, we chose to list our house for sale. Never did we expect to sell our home in less than 24 hours. But as of this past Friday, we are under contract to sell with a closing date of March 21st.
Over the next few weeks we will be simplifying our belongings and packing to move. We will be moving to upstate New York. We have no job. And no home. We will live in a borrowed space as we walk the path to what is next. We have dreams. Hopes. Visions of what might be ahead. We are excited. Nervous. But we are not afraid. We are pursuing the joy set before us. We are seeking to live as a non-anxious presence. We know ourselves to be targets of God’s love and grace. And it is enough.