Shane Ash

My cell phone rang and I answered it.

ME:     “Hello, this is Shane.”

HIM:   “Hey Shane, I was just wondering if you had sent the email you said you would send?”

I immediately knew I had been caught…I hadn’t done what I said I would do, but I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want him to think I didn’t care.

ME:     “Um, well, you know, I haven’t had time. I was out of town the other day, and then yesterday the internet at the church was down for a while, and I haven’t been to the office yet today, and…”

HIM:   “I don’t need your excuses, I was just wondering if maybe you forgot.”

ME:     “Yea, that was it…I forgot.”

I hung up the phone wondering why it was so hard for me to just own the mistake and admit I had forgotten to send a simple email. Instead there I was, ready to throw my bucket of blame on anything to get the attention off of my failure.  

How often have you done something like this where you instantly look for someone to blame for the situation you suddenly find yourself in?

Often we blame our actions on other people…”they said this and so I thought I should do that.”

It’s very important for us to separate what is real and what is a result of our “bucket of blame.” By letting our thoughts start to blame others and to justify to ourselves why it’s not our fault, we make ourselves a victim. We also feel like we have no control because something was done to us. When you blame others you give up your own power to change.

We need to be constantly aware of how our thoughts are twisting the reality of the situation. Just because we have a thought doesn’t mean that it is automatically true. For example; is it true that I didn’t care about the person I forgot to send the email too? No, it was simply a forgotten task.  

It is our own interpretation that causes us the most grief and suffering. It also gets in the way of dealing with the situation. Our thinking is more focused on the blame than on simply doing what we need to do.

Join me in putting down your bucket of blame and begin to think before reacting to your circumstances.